Well today’s blog is pretty aimless. I felt like just writing and hopefully some theme will emerge while I am writing.
These days I feel a lot more settled and maybe to some extent at peace with the pace at which life is moving. It’s strange but when you actually sit to understand the nuts and bolts of your life that actually lend you the emotions you experience on a day to day basis, you realize they are so small. For example, my maid has not been coming in for while and I decided to cook for a couple of days, I suddenly felt in control. Then, unlike last year, ever since I have moved into my new house all clothes are washed on time and there is no overloading of the washing machine, I have bought dry fruits and take them to office which make me feel so responsible towards myself. I have these really nice plastic boxes in which I keep the food before putting into the fridge and it makes me feel so organized. While these things may rather make me sound ‘domesticated’, the fact is these were the things which when not in place made me irritable.
I also realized that happiness has no reference to how good or bad the economy is faring, what kind of social unrest is prevalent in society or for that matter the state of mind the person sitting next to you is in. Happiness is a state of the mind and not the sum of the states of mind. Hence one moment of happiness is equal to a positive state of mind during the time frame within which the incident that is giving this positive feeling is occurring.
So what is it that prevents us from being happy at the instance in which you are experiencing those happy moments? While there could be a very philosophical answer to this, laden with emotions, I would rather shred it to its bare threads and tell you why I refuse to be happy every moment. It’s boring!!!! It does not allow you to be ecstatic and that is why you play games with your mind to feel bad about certain things on a day to day basis to simply widen the gap between two states of emotions you experience consecutively so that your state of happiness is elevated … its exciting! To that extent, I would also be very bored with people who are perennially happy because then I don’t play any role in their life…. I do get the opportunity to play the role of ‘guardian angle’ where ‘I’ pull them out of their miseries … I am not relevant in their lives.
While what I say may sound very eccentric and twisted, you may probably want to look at yourself thru the glasses tainted with this eccentricity and have a laugh at your twisted sense.
